peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

(via hannibals-souffle)

nothingbutflawless:

I’m jealous of girls that are super gorgeous. The ones that everyone always wants to be around, the friend everyone wants to have. The one that everyone looks at and thinks “damn she’s beautiful.” The ones that have a naturally cute laugh, a perfect smile, the ones with cute clothes and that look perfect all the time.

(via sniffing)

  • teacher: you can't bullshit this essay
  • me (under my breath): if you're an ameteur

serenitizings:

Bad choices make good stories

(via p-a-r-a-n-0-i-d)

mangerdanger:

if you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?

(Source: neptunain, via sniffing)

carafrightley:

i havent taken a good selfie since 1935

(Source: goatpolice, via sup-london)

beyoncescock:

seven billion people on this planet and i have 2 friends

(via zackisontumblr)

nerdassbitch:

*throws shade* *misses*

(Source: summersloth, via hotboyproblems)

p-otter-m-alfoy:

at least i know nobody’s using me for my looks

(Source: potterm-alfoy, via bastille)